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Archive for March, 2007

What Is Dune?

As many times as I’ve read Dune and watched the several versions of the movie, I’m still left guessing what Frank Herbert was up to. I haven’t read anything about Herbert’s life but I’m guessing he spent some time in either the Middle East or North Africa. The landscape of Dune is defined by the desolation of desert and the scarcity of important resources like water. I had seen the David Lynch movie several times before ever reading the book. I asked a friend once if the book was good. She said, “if the book is as beautiful tree in full bloom, then the movie is the same tree dead in the winter. The structure is the same but the beauty is missing.” Well … I had to read the book.
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The First Easter Morning

Dr. Zach has put together a rather ruthless quiz for “true believers.” Here is one of the questions from the site:

We know that Christianity is true because the Gospel writers, inspired by God who can make no error, recorded the founding events. For example, on the first Easter morning, the visitors to the tomb were greeted by which of the following:

    a. A young man (Mark 16:5)
    b. No, no, it was no man, it was an angel (Matthew 28:2-5)
    c. You’re both wrong, it was two men (Luke 24:4)
    d. Damn it, there was nobody there (John 20:1-2)

Read the rest of the quiz here.

Smart People Live in Georgia

Sometimes I just beam with joy that I lived in the intellectual capital of the world, Atlanta, Georgia USA. A place where it’s okay to ban Olympic volleyball on the grounds that there may be some of them contagious homosexual players; a place where we skipped the chapters on Africa, Asia, and South America so that we could take the required “Georgia History” course; a state where legislators debate whether or not the Jews conspired to lead us all into believing that the earth rotates around the sun. I’m so proud to be a part of all of this. Meanwhile, we are getting our economic asses handed to us by India and China (on the continent we decided to skip); massive genocide is occurring on another continent that we couldn’t identify without someone pointing it out to us; South Americans are becoming a majority social and economic power in America and we don’t have a clue about their culture … but, golly, we know where Stone Mountain is.

I pick on Georgia because it’s just a shinning example of the current state of education in America. Conservative Christians want to teach that the Earth is a few thousand years old and that Adam and Eve rode to church on dinosaurs. Now, the brilliant Representative from Georgia, Ben Bridges (R) has blown the cover off the biggest conspiracy of all time. According to Bridges, “Indisputable evidence — long hidden but now available to everyone — demonstrates conclusively that so-called ‘secular evolution science’ is the Big-Bang 15-billion-year alternate ‘creation scenario’ of the Pharisee Religion,” reads the letter that went out under Bridges’ name. “This scenario is derived concept-for-concept from Rabbinic writings in the mystic ‘holy book’ Kabbala dating back at least two millennia.”

Capitol Annex has the full Earth Doesn’t Move Memo here. The proposed legislation in GA can be found here and the attachments and addendum. It’s hard for me to comprehend that people actually believe this. It’s as if their brains stopped developing after they were 2 years old. That’s the only explanation I can come up with. These same people think that if we build a wall around our country we will be able to keep out people that look and think differently than us. We wouldn’t want to learn a new language, think critically about important scientific and social issues, or be able to identify anything on a world map other than the closest WalMart.

There was a great interview on the Colbert Report a few weeks ago with another of Georgia’s finest, Representative Lynn Westmoreland (R). He recommended hanging the Ten Commandments in the U.S. House of Representatives and the Senate because it was an important part of America. In fact, it’s so important that when asked to recite them he said, “You mean all of them? Um… Don’t murder. Don’t lie. Don’t steal Um… I can’t name them all.” Then, when asked how we could balance the budget he recommended getting rid of the Department of Education. It would be funny if it wasn’t so sad. A video of the whole interview is available here.

Have people always been this stupid? Is it at all time, new low or am I just coming to some consciousness about it. It seems that the collective IQ dropped about 100 points since the beginning of the new millennium. Luckily, if American children aren’t educated in math and science, children in other countries will be. While they are creating new medical and engineering breakthroughs, American home-school children will be learning that the Earth is flat and that you don’t need medicine as long as you pray really hard. They will all laugh together when talking about a time in American history when people actually believed that the universe was older than 6,000 years old. Ha! Ha! Those silly old fools – everyone knows the Jews Devil put fossils on the Earth just to trick us. Hey, come on. Let’s go see the laser show at Stone Mountain!

“When fascism comes to America, it will be wrapped in the flag and carrying the cross.” – Sinclair Lewis

Steven (1971 – 2007)

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I’m an Informed Consumer?

I was tempted to write about the amazing amount of corruption that is being uncovered on a daily basis about our President but then I went to my mailbox and had a letter addressed to “Informed Consumer.” Hey, that was me they were talking about. Within a few months I have been promoted from “Current Resident” to “Informed Consumer.” Well, since they put it that way, I guess I’ll have to open the mail that I would have otherwise thrown into the garbage. I took the bait.

Inside I found the same old crap that had always been sent to “Current Resident.” All they had done was change the addressee on the mailing label. Those clever geniuses. I was hoping to open my mail and find myself showered with praise about just how much of an “informed consumer” I was. But now the gig is up. I know the trick. They just changed the name on the label. Those clever bastards.

Since I was smart enough to thwart their clandestine attempt to trick me, I wondered to myself, “What will they think of next?” I guess this new marketing strategy only has so much mileage in it. How soon will it be before I open my mailbox full of paper spam and discover that all of my mail is addressed to “Omniscient Being”? By then, I will have known all their dirty tricks and that they didn’t actually think I was an “omniscient being” but rather a complete retard that will open anything if it appeals to my deflated ego enough.

In a big meeting room somewhere in New York there is a room full of less-than-competent marketers slapping each other on the back and giggling to themselves with mad enthusiasm that they have pulled one over on the all-too-gullible, American consumer. Sadly, they would be right. Marketing to the lowest common denominator is the best way to capture the majority. It’s been an effective strategy for Tele-Evangelists – why not advertising? In the end, their goals are the same: selling crap to mindless morons who will attempt to purchase righteousness and moral authority from the first available charlatan that comes along.

A New Theory of the Universe?

From the latest issue of American Scholar: “The world is not, on the whole, the place we have learned about in our school books. This point was hammered home one recent night as I crossed the causeway of the small island where I live. The pond was dark and still. Several strange glowing objects caught my attention on the side of the road, and I squatted down to observe one of them with my flashlight. The creature turned out to be a glowworm, the luminous larva of the European beetle Lampyris noctiluca. Its segmented little oval body was primitive – like some trilobite that had just crawled out of the Cambrian Sea 500 million years ago.”

Read more at The American Scholar…

Darwin’s God?

From this week’s New York Times Magazine: “God has always been a puzzle for Scott Atran. When he was 10 years old, he scrawled a plaintive message on the wall of his bedroom in Baltimore. “God exists,” he wrote in black and orange paint, “or if he doesn’t, we’re in trouble.” Atran has been struggling with questions about religion ever since — why he himself no longer believes in God and why so many other people, everywhere in the world, apparently do.” Read more…