Ditch Paxil and Pick Up a Pod

iPodThe iPod + Shure headphones are a lethal combination. At home, you’ll never hear your spouse asking you to do something you don’t want to do. At work, you’ll observe your co-workers talking with one another but it will seem like they are miles away from you and your quiet, bliss. In traffic is where the killer iPod + Shure combo reaches it’s nirvana. You won’t even be able to hear the sound of wind rushing by your crappy – too cheap to test audible ergonomics – car.

SSRIs like Paxil are prescribed for everything from major depression to incontinence. The major side-effect of these drugs (and the secret reason they work so well) is chemical induced ambivalence about everything – from some guy cutting you off in traffic to the death of a loved one. SSRIs cut you off from suffering through events that make average people experience mental suffering. Maybe this is what the Buddha was talking about when he spoke of nirvana – the end of suffering. Is it possible that Siddhartha Gautama discovered hydrochloride salt of a phenylpiperidine two thousand years before scientists in the west did? Or is is just possible that nirvana is actually just listening to the iPod.

Since the results of SSRIs and the iPod + Shure combo is the same, I recommend ditching paxil and picking up an iPod. The price tag is a little hefty $399 for an iPod and $199 for the headphones, but SSRI prescriptions can be as much as $2000 annually, so this is really a bargain.

This just in: an ancient painting (see below) of the Buddha has been found – he seems to be holding something that resembles some sort of listening device. It almost looks like an iPod.

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