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By What Myth Am I Living?

I haven’t really written much in the past few months – other than posting stuff on politics from other sites. I’ve been reflecting on the past. I remember someone once telling me that as you get older you get the most vivid flashback memories of your life. That is what’s been happening to me. Every moment I spend unglued from the internet or work, I am forced to confront those memories. For the most part, my memories of the past are quite good.

What bothers me now is not that I have bad memories but that I have good. I have had to make certain compromises to live a normal life. Experience of new once held me captive and dazzled me with vivid dreams of freedom and greatness. Lately, those dreams have turned dark and only a shell of what once was. I wonder if the compromises are worth it. It is better to live normal or to rage on in peaks and valleys?

What I’m hoping for is that after 2 years of fear, uncertainty, and doubt, I can find that divine spark that is a part of us all. It is not what keeps us living from day to day, but it is what makes us look forward to the next and plan ahead with a sparkle in our eye. It is a barely conscious realization that each day is a chance to make good on the dreams of yesterday. Or, as Jung or Campbell would ask themselves, by what myth am I living?

Comments (7):

  1. Nick Greaves

    February 17, 2008 at 5:23 pm

    Fear, uncertainty and Doubt? Golly, you are living in the most exciting of times, and you are in the fore front of the largest breakthrough in knowledge that, once achieved, consolidated and put to practical use, will change the way humhan kind lives. It will eventually mean we can do without the ambition and need for power exercised unfortunately by most people who enter politics.

    What I mean is that you are an enthusiastic proponent of Sheldrake’s work and in the end he will be proved correct in as far as he takes things, and will be regarded as the new Darwin, only more so. Mind you whether this will happen in his lifetime or mine, I am not so certain but in yours I would be confident it should.

    In which case this is very exciting and you have had more than a grand stand seat in the process: an active participation, and this alone is more than most people manage in a lifetime.

    The changes in behaviour that will be brought about by the development of a new principle of physics which is what is involved here, and effectively one of negative entropy, necessary to bring about the symmetry to counter the apparently one way flow of time and entropy, will be hugely radical. We will be able to comprehend the mechanism of mind and memory, which in turn will open up whole new vistas of understanding in other disiplines, and especially those of the life sciences, not that the academics involved will like having effectively to go back to school, which is why old Rupert has been having such a struggle one quarter of a century after he published his first book.

    The muddled world of psychology, psychiatry and psychoanalysis , not to mention philosophy will be turned on their heads, and not before time, once he has his undeniable experimental proof.

    This is all very exciting except that the latter proof in my view will not happen until someone else can propose a more specific mechanism for the operation of morphic resonance which is where I come in, or if not me, then some other bright spark with better credentials. That is quite a prospect, and something well worth being involved in.

    I admit it is not impossible that some lunatic fringe might get their hands on a nuclear device of a dirty nature, and do some serious damage in the interim before all this increase in understanding happens, but if it does, then tant pis, it will be for later generations to sort out, but it will happen. That is good enough for me.

    Hooray

    Reply
  2. Don

    February 18, 2008 at 12:20 pm

    re>> … divine spark that is a part of us all.

    Reply
  3. amy

    February 18, 2008 at 2:02 pm

    Hey Matt,

    I have a quick question. What did you mean by, “Experience of new”? Did you mean the hope of a NEW life. I think this may be what you meant b/c you used the words “dreams of freedom” in the same sentence?

    I find quiet time– without computers, TV, others around, challenging to sit in.

    A lot of what you write about, I also feel at times. For me, I think I have figured out, is a loss of HOPE. A loss of hope that is deep, dark and empty. For me when I feel hopeless it seems the only relief from the emptiness will come through death. Not a self inflicted death, but more of a…I wouldn’t mind if it happened tomorrow.

    I too used to have shiney lofty dreams for my life. I am not sure when in my 30s I realized it was created in my head, and where I sat is what my life really was– but it was and has been hard to find hope, or a spark that is sustainable since that time. There are glimpses or moments; but that is all.

    Somewhere in my core, and this is the first time I have tried to put this into words, I believe hope for life comes through looking outside ourselves through serving others. In these moments of serving, we are humbled and are forced to recognized our blessings as real. I find it hard to look outward, when hopeless, but think in this lies many answers.

    Reply
  4. amy

    February 18, 2008 at 2:13 pm

    Hey Matt-

    What is the time reference of “LATELY, those dreams have turned dark?” The last 10 years, 5 years, 2 years, 2 months, 2 weeks, 2 days?

    with love,
    amy

    Reply
  5. anita

    February 19, 2008 at 8:50 pm

    When my own dreams turn dark, as they appear to have today, I go in search of an “aliance of the unlovely”. I go in search of others who are experiencing darkness.

    Interesting writing.

    Reply
  6. Silly Girl

    February 20, 2008 at 10:39 pm

    Matthew,

    Travel slowly in the darkness and wrap your arms around the fear. You will adjust and find shadows that echo the eternal light that beats within us all. God and nature will cease to exist and maybe the only thing left is a timelessness that touches every existence. No beginning, no ending, just being.

    Reply
  7. NT.Quan

    March 28, 2008 at 5:02 pm

    Hi,
    I have a question. When downgrading to XP, can I still use the hotkey? Because I think they need the software Sony® Notebook Utilities to work. So please help me, I also want to downgrade my laptop to XP.

    Thank you very much.

    Reply

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