I'm an Informed Consumer?

I'm an Informed Consumer?
Photo by Daniele Franchi / Unsplash

I was tempted to write about the amazing amount of corruption that is being uncovered on a daily basis about our President but then I went to my mailbox and had a letter addressed to “Informed Consumer.” Hey, that was me they were talking about. Within a few months I have been promoted from “Current Resident” to “Informed Consumer.” Well, since they put it that way, I guess I’ll have to open the mail that I would have otherwise thrown into the garbage. I took the bait.

Inside I found the same old crap that had always been sent to “Current Resident.” All they had done was change the addressee on the mailing label. Those clever geniuses. I was hoping to open my mail and find myself showered with praise about just how much of an “informed consumer” I was. But now the gig is up. I know the trick. They just changed the name on the label. Those clever bastards.

Since I was smart enough to thwart their clandestine attempt to trick me, I wondered to myself, “What will they think of next?” I guess this new marketing strategy only has so much mileage in it. How soon will it be before I open my mailbox full of paper spam and discover that all of my mail is addressed to “Omniscient Being”? By then, I will have known all their dirty tricks and that they didn’t actually think I was an “omniscient being” but rather a complete retard that will open anything if it appeals to my deflated ego enough.

In a big meeting room somewhere in New York there is a room full of less-than-competent marketers slapping each other on the back and giggling to themselves with mad enthusiasm that they have pulled one over on the all-too-gullible, American consumer. Sadly, they would be right. Marketing to the lowest common denominator is the best way to capture the majority. It’s been an effective strategy for Tele-Evangelists – why not advertising? In the end, their goals are the same: selling crap to mindless morons who will attempt to purchase righteousness and moral authority from the first available charlatan that comes along.